ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
