I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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