i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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