I think my vagina is haunted
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
