Are we in a gay sports bar?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i dont even know how to be here
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
