can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
