Have you finally orgasmed yet?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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