you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
