kristin has been a bad kristin
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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