yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
So many bounce houses so little time
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
