Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
