awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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