You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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