She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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