1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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