Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Randomize