I hate all girls vehemently.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
