You really coming over, don't trick.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
i think i just lost a toe
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
