3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
