He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
