:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
