Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
