but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
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I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
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Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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