i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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