sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
