Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
