I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
