I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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