He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
