it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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