is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
