i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
The Olympian is in my bed
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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