i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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