Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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