Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Randomize
