I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
