we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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