highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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