i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
