Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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