I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
