dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
