I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
