So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
