No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
