you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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