She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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