i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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