she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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