A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
