Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I broke a rule
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun