Please, let me fuck your mom
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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