My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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