I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
