youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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