is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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