? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
