R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Randomize