Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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