I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
