i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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