i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
