does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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