I want to make a zoo with you.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
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Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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